10 years ago I was starting high school. I was a young innocent girl who had the whole world going for her. I was very naïve and believed that if I wanted people to like me I needed to be and act more like them. I thought that the “in” crowd was the ultimate place to be and that if I achieved getting into the “in” crowd and liked, I would be eternally grateful and an amazing person. I thought having a boyfriend who played football was a must and wouldn’t settle for anything less. I went to church, I was confirmed, I obeyed my parents (for the most part but, don’t tell them) and overall on the outside was the perfect little girl everyone dreamed of having. You can look at this description and say “well everyone was like that in high school” which for the most part is true.
I look at my life today and what I have learned and who I am today. Today I am a 25 year old Christian, wife, daughter, friend, and employee. In the last year or so I would say as a person I have grown more then I think I ever have in my life. I found the person I am. I am a shy, calm, quiet girl. I like to hang out with my husband, family and friends in moderation. I care for and love everyone tremendously. I am a woman of God a Christian who believes the Lord our God has EVERYTHING to do with our life and what happens in our life. I believe there is a silver lining in everything no matter how hard it is to see it sometime. I also believe that I don’t have to act or be like anyone for them to like me. I am ok with people no liking me and I am ok with not having everything or everyone. I feel that my changes in this past year, and I guess you could say past 10 years, have molded me into the person I have always wanted to be ME true to myself and my beliefs.
I look now on other people’s lives people from high school, old boyfriends, friends, co-workers and I feel a tinge of sadness that we are all not connected anymore and that we are not a part of each other’s lives to celebrate good news, to cry during bad news, and to just be there. But then I sit and I think of where we each are in our journey of life and realize none of that stuff matters nor does the stuff that happened matter all that matters is we each are happy, healthy, and feel that our part of this world is put together and lived by the grace of God. I may not have it all or be the person I thought I needed to be but…I’m okay with that.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Middle aged at 25???
My name is Carrie and I am a 25 year old middle aged woman. Wait…What?! That is right I am 25 years old but act and feel more like I am 45 years old. This could be a good thing but it also could me I need therapy and I need to get out more.
The day I started to realize that I was a 25 year old middle aged woman was the day my husband and I went to a college basketball game. We had our tickets in hand we parked half way to the moon and walked in the freezing cold to get into a packed loud stadium where we found our seats in the…student section. I sat down took off my many layers folded everything up and carefully with a cringed face put it on the ground under my seat. I started looking around checking out the people around when I realized all the folks around us were young like 19-21 year olds. Now, I know what you are saying “you were that age only 3 years ago” I get that but, I also have been out of college and the college life for about 5 years. So we are sitting there and I turn to my husband and say “this means we are going to have to stand for the entire game doesn’t it?” and he looks at me with a look like “why are you complaining”. I immediately start thinking OH GREAT my back is going to hurt I am going to get tired my feet will ache by the time I get home, which we will get home late because the game doesn’t start until 7:00, and all I will want to do is take a bath and go to bed. So, I start looking around and I notice that the sections next to ours have backs to their seats and everyone is sitting and relaxing. I again turn to my husband and say “why can’t we sit over there with the chair backs where folks are sitting not standing” and he looks at me and in the kindest way possible he says “Babe, because those people are OLD”. OUCH…I look and I think wow they really are old but, I still envied their seats where it was quiet, and calm, and no one had to stand. And that was the day I realized I am a 25 year old middle aged woman.
I prefer to sit at home read a book, drink tea and be in bed by 9:00. I need my 8 hours of sleep every night but, when I don’t get it there is a whole slew of problems that start. It begins with waking up with puffy eyes, then the aches come in, my shoulder hurts, my back hurts, then I get cranky like old lady with a cane cranky…”these darn towels aren’t folded correctly, why is there rust on the bottom of the shower, who left the toothpaste on the counter” I don’t have kids so I know it was my husband who left the toothpaste on the counter. I then get in the shower and realize it takes entirely too long to wash and dry my hair so, I will skip it today since getting dressed will be a whole other issue. I then make it to work and get mad at every “young kid” who screams past me going entirely to fast because he or she is late for work or school. I get to work get things done then realize I better or my tummy will hurt, I will get cranky, and I will have low blood sugar. And then I go home and pray for 8 hours tonight.
I may sound like I am complaining and concerned about my “middle aged” lifestyle but I am not. I am happy to be a quiet no nonsense calm person. I am happy with the fact that I can thank the Lord for another day on this earth and I like that I get along with “older” women and men, not many 25 year olds get the respect from older folks like I do. I can still have a good time and keep up with the rest of the 25 year olds but, I prefer not to too often. Which brings me to my conclusion and the title of my blog….I’m okay with that!!
The day I started to realize that I was a 25 year old middle aged woman was the day my husband and I went to a college basketball game. We had our tickets in hand we parked half way to the moon and walked in the freezing cold to get into a packed loud stadium where we found our seats in the…student section. I sat down took off my many layers folded everything up and carefully with a cringed face put it on the ground under my seat. I started looking around checking out the people around when I realized all the folks around us were young like 19-21 year olds. Now, I know what you are saying “you were that age only 3 years ago” I get that but, I also have been out of college and the college life for about 5 years. So we are sitting there and I turn to my husband and say “this means we are going to have to stand for the entire game doesn’t it?” and he looks at me with a look like “why are you complaining”. I immediately start thinking OH GREAT my back is going to hurt I am going to get tired my feet will ache by the time I get home, which we will get home late because the game doesn’t start until 7:00, and all I will want to do is take a bath and go to bed. So, I start looking around and I notice that the sections next to ours have backs to their seats and everyone is sitting and relaxing. I again turn to my husband and say “why can’t we sit over there with the chair backs where folks are sitting not standing” and he looks at me and in the kindest way possible he says “Babe, because those people are OLD”. OUCH…I look and I think wow they really are old but, I still envied their seats where it was quiet, and calm, and no one had to stand. And that was the day I realized I am a 25 year old middle aged woman.
I prefer to sit at home read a book, drink tea and be in bed by 9:00. I need my 8 hours of sleep every night but, when I don’t get it there is a whole slew of problems that start. It begins with waking up with puffy eyes, then the aches come in, my shoulder hurts, my back hurts, then I get cranky like old lady with a cane cranky…”these darn towels aren’t folded correctly, why is there rust on the bottom of the shower, who left the toothpaste on the counter” I don’t have kids so I know it was my husband who left the toothpaste on the counter. I then get in the shower and realize it takes entirely too long to wash and dry my hair so, I will skip it today since getting dressed will be a whole other issue. I then make it to work and get mad at every “young kid” who screams past me going entirely to fast because he or she is late for work or school. I get to work get things done then realize I better or my tummy will hurt, I will get cranky, and I will have low blood sugar. And then I go home and pray for 8 hours tonight.
I may sound like I am complaining and concerned about my “middle aged” lifestyle but I am not. I am happy to be a quiet no nonsense calm person. I am happy with the fact that I can thank the Lord for another day on this earth and I like that I get along with “older” women and men, not many 25 year olds get the respect from older folks like I do. I can still have a good time and keep up with the rest of the 25 year olds but, I prefer not to too often. Which brings me to my conclusion and the title of my blog….I’m okay with that!!
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